Oh 2018! You fucked me right up. You challenged me in ways I never expected and tore me down to my core. It was a ying and yang year where I struggled so deeply personally and blossomed professionally. A year of intense downs and beautiful moments that honestly felt like a dream.
But you know, happiness can be found even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light. (any Harry Potter fans out there? ) And I am so glad I chose to turn on the light. I am still processing everything that came in the dark of 2018 and have started writing about it multiple times. But it’s not quite ready - maybe I’m not quite ready - to make sense of it all yet. But I will. This post however, is about the light. The light that pulled my soul back from the dark depths. The light that allowed me to bliss out or dive in whenever needed. The light that saved me - photography.
2018 felt my very own cataclysm. An upheaval of everything I thought I was and a true dive into my soul. Photography become my consistent, unwavering, rock that held me together while I was being torn a part. Any time I was behind the camera I felt new, whole, loved, and a part of something. It gave me strength and helped me to escape what was happening in my head and heart. It poured out love and creativity and began a chapter of my life where I think I actually went the right way. It gave me a sense of purpose, and a creative outlet, all while setting my soul on fire. In 2018 I become Wild Shay and it became me.
These photos don’t just represent a piece of my heart, they represent a love I have never felt, a proudness of myself for moving out of my comfort zone, and a tangible visual of growth.
They are not incredible, they are not cohesive, and they are not perfect, but they are my magic. The magic my heart and mind created in one year. They are moments of laughter and joy with people who I love so much and strangers I fell in love with for taking a chance on me. I don’t think they will truly ever understand how much I loved our time together. How it saved me. How they saved me.
2018 you almost wrecked me and in it I found my salvation. I found Wild Shay.
I just want to take a moment here to truly thank any of you who have been a part of this. Whether you shouted strength to me when my confidence wavered, read any of my writings, shared or liked a post, or held me tight while I cried THANK YOU! Thank you for helping me create was is Wild Shay.
While it seems to be the biggest part of my heart it is deeply shared with all of yours and I truly wouldn’t and couldn’t do it without you.
So here is to your 2019! May be it steeped in growth, filled with you only becoming more you, and may you find whatever is your light and run fast towards it.
with never ending love,